She was standing there. A paper in hand. Looking expectantly all around. I caught her eye and she came nearby. She showed me the paper she was clutching tightly in her hand. It was the address of the metro station on which we both had got down. She asked or rather indicated to me whether it was the right station on which she had got down. I said "yes". By the way she showed me the paper and asked or rather indicated for certain things I had come to the conclusion that she was dumb. She could not speak. The thought of not being able to speak sent the active cells of my fist-sized brain into a frenzy. The fact that I had recently gotten married and could not speak out my heart loud at my in-laws place was pre-dominantly flowing in the brain. I was forced to think about the situation where I would want to clarify some issues with my spouse but would not do so just for the sake of it. Just for the sake of it or maybe for the reason that the issues are not so big so as to be spoken out. But here was a well grown up woman who was unable to speak even the smallest of things in her mind. Her happiness, sadness, everything, and I really mean everything had only the medium of her facial expressions but no words. No words to state the various emotions that go on in a mind. No words to express emotions that cannot be expressed by facial expressions or otherwise. No words at all at any point of time. I was amazed at the fact as to how this woman has been spending her lifetime without words. Not only this woman but all those persons in the world who did not possess the minimal faculties for proper functioning of a human being. But why did facing this woman suddenly float an emotion that was buried deep somewhere. Why all of a sudden I was forced to think that all small issues need not be given voice come what may? That some things are best not said. When the time is right they will themselves find a mention and I need not repeat them inside my head and practice day n night as to how I would want to present it. But one thing that I am unable to understand is why having met a total stranger at a total unwarranted time instill within me the urge to keep silent rather than speak out. Having encountered her I should have been inspired to speak out rather than remain silent but that is not the case to be... It is rather amusing that I should be feeling this way...a feeling which is rather uncommon....'coz when you meet a person of some disability the first thing that you say or rather do is thank GOD for having given you all the right faculties in the right place to live a wonderful life. Indeed I was thankful to GOD for having provided me the power to speak out my heart but then why did it feel odd that I should have decided to keep quiet about some things and not speak them out. Maybe then it was the right thing to do...or maybe then it wasn't...I don't know...Maybe I will never know...or maybe I know and don't want to speak it out....or maybe...just maybe....
Answers anyone...???
3 comments:
well said ..par hindi me likhe to kya baat ho .....achha laga
Your descriptive power is great! I think keeping quiet was okay.
I'm trying to get my blog out there; coming across yours it seems to relate. Please spread the word if you appreciate my writings. I appreciated yours.
http://thoughtlessink.blogspot.com/
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